Being home all the time has given me time to reflect on alot of things.
My mom's birthday is coming up & I sent her so goat soap from QVC ( she loves that crap) anyway I had to address the label & her name is Mary. You know how I know this not because she told me because if you ask her she will say her name is Maria Christina, but that's not true when my husband was doing genealogy stuff a few years back he came up with her birth certificate on line. It said Mary Christine. I guess that wasn't ethnic enough for her so she added the extra vowel. It made me think of all the times in my life she has lied to me & about me.
My cousin has Epilepsy she has had it for about 20 years, she will tell you it's because a boyfriend beat her so bad that it caused brain damage. She has tried everything, chips inserted in her brain, multiple meds etc nothing works. If you speak about her to my mother she will say well you know Kathleen drank & drugged herself until she had seizures. It was the drugs , drugs do it to you. She has never outright said she thinks my husbands seizures are because he used drugs ( at least not to me) but I suspect that's what she says to other people, because I have had the same family members ask me multiple times why he has epilepsy. The honest to God truth is the Dr's don't know. They think that an anti depressant he was taking years ago lowered his seizure threshold but they just don't know. It's not like he had a car accident & the seizures started so they could pin point it.
My Aunt from Maria Italy: My mother would go on & on about she was in a concentration camp & met my uncle when he freed her. BUT the truth is she is Polish, her family sent her to Italy as a little girl to save her when the Germans were coming. She lived with another family as their child.
I have a picture in my living room that my mother always said was my Grandmother & Grandfather when she visited him & he was in the army but it's not my grandfather at all. He was never in the service. I found that out after doing family research too.
The point of all of this because I could go on & on is my entire life she has lied to me & about me. Made up & exaggerated stories about myself, my brother & all of my family. I'm pretty sure she drove the wedge between my brother & I because I can't figure out why he doesn't talk to me. Like there was never an argument or anything he just stopped talking to me 25 years ago. Literally we are in the same room & he doesn't acknowledge me.
I think this is why I hate lieing so much. My husband says I am honest to a fault sometimes, like maybe I say things I shouldn't. I see the lying quality in my son sometimes the way it will roll of his tongue but I know him well enough that I can tell & will just stare at him. He will usually start squirming in his seat & change the subject.
My mother is almost 80 now & people say you can't change her & honestly I don't expect to but this is why I have not driven to see her in 3 years.
She asked when she moved 15 years ago will I drive 2 1/2 hours to see her a few times a year & I said no, because I am not a liar.
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