And now the financial crisis

At 5 Pm yesterday the president of my company sent out a video message saying they are cutting pay UP to 40%. It would take effect in our next paycheck. We won't know who is getting what taken away until next week HR will contact each of us separately. My husband started crying. My boss texted me to call him. My friend from work in San Fransisco texted because he couldn't believe it.   My phone just started going crazy.

 So now I had to assure my husband that it was going to be ok. I said I am the queen of saving money. I will call the credit cards & ask them about Hardship repayments, where they will lock my cards from use but significantly reduce my interest. We have enough food for the next 6 weeks in the house & I don't have to put gas in the car. We are going to be ok. 
 I called my boss, he assured me that it's a sliding scale & he went to the president of the company & said listen her husband is disabled please take the minimum amount from her check. I thanked him profusely & said I'm just glad to still have health benefits. He started to cry I could hear it in his voice. I said Listen we are going to be ok. I started listing the positive things, hey at least we don't have to put gas in our cars right now, & we still have health benefits & the stimulus pkg is coming so we can supplement our incomes with that. It's going to be ok. 5 years from now when we are telling stories like we do, we will talk about this phone call  & how we made it through. He said yeah I know.
 We are going to be ok was my mantra to everyone I spoke to, my son, my husband, my boss , my friends from work. I think it was just as much for me as for them.

This morning at 1:17 am I woke up in a panic attack, thinking will it all be ok? I got up & walked around in circles around my kitchen table. Running the numbers of how much my expenses are & how much my husbands disability check will cover. Mortgage, gas, electric Cable/internet ( so I can continue to work) ,  meds. Credit cards I will see what I can do to reduce payments. At this point I don't know how much of my check they are taking away so I will have to wait & see. I went back to bed & layed there awake for about 2 hours, praying trying to clear my head. I have to stay calm on the outside because if my husband gets too stressed he will have more seizures.

It's going to be ok. It's going to be ok

Carrie Underwood:

Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
'Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
And save me from this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel