You know when you get your period & think that explains alot

I am peri menopausal. What does that mean? I'm bloated, moody, get night sweats, my period is erratic, I have anxiety attacks, heart palpitations, hmm did I leave anything out oh yeah, my hair is falling out & I could grow a mustache if I wanted ( I don't)  . They say this can last a few years, oh joy. My estrogen is dropping, so basically I'm turning into a man. I have been told in the past I have a big set of balls so I guess I should have expected this.
 Lately I have been anxious like sitting at my desk yesterday & my fight or flight kicks in. I took a few deep breathes & ignored it. Last night I woke up with sweat running off of me & lo & behold this am at work I got my period only two weeks after the last one. Some times it's every two weeks, then I won't get it for a month. Then is goes back to every 30 days, it's completely unpredictable, so I keep tampons in every bag I own & my desk at work.
We have a machine in the bathroom at work, but if they think for 1 minute I am paying 25 cents for a crappy tampons they can suck it. The cleaning lady used to fill a little bin we put in this bathroom with tampons etc, but lately all she does is complain about her job & then not do it. Yesterday no soap in the kitchen today there is no soap in the bathroom & no tampons.

The Change as my mother generation called it sux, my emotions are all over the place, did I mention how bloated I always am, which just kicks my self esteem in the gut. There was an article in a magazine recently about how women are still expected to do it all, take care of the house, the kids, work, cook dinner, do the grocery shopping etc. It showed a woman holding a baby & a laptop while she ran on a hamster wheel.  I don't have a baby anymore he's a grown man, but still calls me for help & I'm still expected to do a hell of alot but I'm expected to not be in a bad mood like ever & go through life with a smile, there are not enough mood stabilizers in the world to make me smile all the time.
We are expected to be nice to people even if we don't want to. There are alot of people I work with that I don't like but if I ignore them or brush them off, I'm a bitch. I have developed a new thing where I will just stare at you like why are you wasting my time with this. It seems to work, there is definitely an attitude behind the stare.

Ah the joys of being a woman!

"Bitch" By Meredith Brooks:

So take me as I am

This may mean

You'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that
When I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way