You know when someone just has the words you need to hear

 So there was more Mama drama, instead of putting the house in a trust she took everything & sold it to my brother for 1 dollar, so he owns the house & it's contents meaning anything that belonged to my grandparents photos etc is lost to me forever. To add insult to injury when my mother told me this ( on thanksgiving) she said my friend wanted to do this too but she has 9 kids & how do you pick a favorite out of 9 kids. AND THAT LADIES & GENTLEMAN SUMS UP MY LIFE!
 I did not react when I was on the phone no matter how much she poked & prodded me. She even said she wants to come visit me , I said yeah whatever just call first . ( I will make sure I'm not available ). I won't let her turn me into the bad guy saying I yelled & all I want from her is the house.
 I got off the phone & was furious breathing so heavy I was light headed, I exploded. Screaming & yelling calling her & my brother every name in the book. I put on my sneakers & went for a run. I ran 1 mile in the span of one song ( about 3 minutes)  I have not run a 3 minute mile in the history of forever. My lungs were burning I was fighting back tears, occasionally one would slip out.
 No matter how much I tried to express to anyone what I felt they kept saying you didn't want the house anyway. It wasn't about the house though.

Then Saturday came & my cousin called while she was driving back from Newark Airport. My family doesn't know all of this is happening & honestly I don't know why I never said anything, but I told her & she said the exact words I needed to  hear. She said " on the outside you are calm & acting like you don't care, but on the inside you are feeling rejected & I'm sorry she is treating you this way" That was it, the rejection is what was making me furious. Not the house or the stuff, it's that at 48 years old she acts like oh I love my daughter so much & she doesn't visit me but on the side nothing has changed since I was a teenager, she tries to manipulate me & make me feel not good enough.

My cousin knew what I needed to hear & it felt like a release like finally someone knows what I am trying to say.