I'm trying to change my mindset

 I will be one year closer to 50 in a few weeks. This weighs on my mind lately. I'm trying to eat better & walk everyday rain, sleet or shine. I am trying to settle my mind & not let people get under my skin. I am taking a step back from people who stress me.
 It seems the harder I try to step back the harder people try to get under my skin. Like my lack of a reaction irks them, but I still won't react. The dog has helped me drastically with this, as soon as I get stressed he is by my side with his big puppy eyes, nudging me, wanting me to sit on the floor with him so he can get in my face & give me a kiss. There is something relaxing about this your blood pressure goes down & you let out a cleansing breath. It's better than any med a Dr can prescribe.

A guy I know had to have emergency surgery to remove his leg due to blood clots. He is a single father of an autistic son. They are doing a Go Fund Me for him & so I took a check for 25 bucks my mother gave me for our wedding anniversary & donated it. I told her thank you for check I gave the money to this guy & explained the situation. The text that was sent a few hours later was, is there a reason you don't want anything I send you. Do you not want me to visit you, just tell me.  I was very angry at first, my first reaction was to text back " way to make a guy losing his leg about you" but instead, I thought about a book I read by the Dali Lama called The Book of Joy, it says to take a step back before reacting, so I did & I kept stepping back until I walked away & never replied. I went to bed at peace last night, not aggravated or angry.   

I read something this AM that says: My Silence Means I am tired of fighting
and now there is nothing left to fight for. My silence means I am tired of explaining my feelings to you, but now I don't have the energy to explain them anymore. My silence means I have adapted to the changes in my life & don't want to complain. My silence means I am on a self healing process & I am trying to forget everything I ever wanted from you. My silence means I am just trying to move on gracefully with all my Dignity - Aarti Khuara

So I will sit in silence & observe the world around me at peace with myself, only letting the people in who bring joy to my life - Me