Sometimes little things piss me off

 Like the guy I work with that is supposed to be the " expert" on our new software but has a snide comment to everyone who has a question. To the point that when we were still in the office one of the guys on the phone told him " you better back down with your comments"

 Like last night when my husband had to get his snack that he eats every night while watching TV. I don't eat bags of chips or anything after dinner except for 1 dark chocolate square. He has chips, candy, ice cream cones all kinds of crap in the house. I bought myself a container of hagen das vanilla ice cream as a treat to have one scoop once in a while. He decides to heat up a Carmel apple tart & use my ice cream to put on top, then come over to show me like look how good that looks. I was so pissed off that I went to bed early just to keep my mouth shut.
 Or when I was pulling weeds around the fence by hand because he was supposed to clean the carburetor on the weed wacker & didn't. He came outside to see what I was doing & said do you need help I said yes please. He said well I don't want to. I picked up my stuff & walked away before I started yelling. He saw how pissed I was & started helping. Only to find out last night the weed whacker has an electric start that he never charged so that's why it wouldn't start for me. So I crawled around the yard for 90 minutes on my hands and knees when I could have been done in 20 minutes.
 Or when I got the announcement that pay was remaining cut through June & not even two minutes later he says I need the stuff for my nicotine vape, I said well last time you bought it you said it would last 3 months it's been 3 weeks. He says well I'm bored. I almost started yelling there is a shit ton of stuff to be done around here, you have not scooped the cats litter in 2 months, I have been doing it everyday. I am cleaning & cooking & emptying the dishwasher, doing the laundry, walking the  dog, cutting  the grass, pulling weeds etc but you are F'n bored? !
I even scooped litter on Mothers day.

Maybe if I wasn't locked in the house I wouldn't be so pissed off, but lets be honest I still would be.

I just feel unappreciated sometimes.  

What is the new normal ?

People are flocking to the parks the first day they opened. I watched the news & saw tons of people without masks on. I wonder if I read my blog a year from now, if things will still be the same, people wearing masks & staying 6 ft apart or will this just be a memory.

You know what I miss, cutting coupons & going to the grocery store early on a Saturday morning, It may sound dumb but I haven't been to Shoprite in 2 months, just running to Target to get the essentials trying to avoid crowds. Running in & out & over paying  just to avoid being around too many people. I miss being able to take my time, compare my coupon with the item on sale & save money. I miss just getting in the car & taking a ride down to the beach, not to go in the water, but take the dog & walk around Sandy Hook. I miss Friday night dinners with my son & this is the first mothers day in 29 years that I won't be able to hang out with him. I miss going to the store & they have everything I need. Oh I need napkins no problem. I feel like having juice I'll just swing by the store & pick some up. Now leaving the house is an ordeal. Do I have on my mask & gloves, hand sanitizer? Leaving the house makes me anxious anymore. I miss being able to hug my son if I want to.

I spoke to my mother the other day, she has been going out more & more. I did not argue with her because I don't have the energy anymore. She will be 79 in August she is going to just do whatever she wants anyway.

I stay in & away from people because if I got sick who will take care of my husband?

Every morning I start my day listing the things I'm thankful for. I'm thankful my friend tested negative for the virus, I'm thankful for my house & family & friends. I'm thankful we are healthy. I am thankful that I have a job & a way to pay my bills. I'm thankful for my freezer full of food. I'm thankful that I was able to plant my garden on Saturday.

Gratitude: The Beastie Boys

Good times gone, and you missed them
What's gone wrong in your system?
Things they bounce like a Spaulding
What'd you think, did you miss your calling?
It's so free, this kind of feeling
It's like life, it's so appealing
When you've got so much to say it's called gratitude
And that's right

Good times gone but you feed it
Hate's grown strong, you feel you need it
Just one thing, do you know you?
What you think, that the world owes you?
What's gonna set you free?
Look inside and you'll see
When you've got so much to say it's called gratitude
And that's right