It seems weird that he is going to be 30. I wasn't even that old when I had him. It's like I blinked my eyes & he doesn't need me to tie his shoes or zip his jacket anymore.
I was 18 when he was born, I had a rough pregnancy, on bed rest because I kept going into labor. They put me on a pill to stop the labor until he was strong enough to be born & 5 days after I came off the pill I started having back pains. I called the Dr at the clinic & the nurse said come to the hospital. I took a shower first not knowing I was putting him at risk & drove myself to the hospital.
When I got there they hooked me up to all kinds of machines & I waited. The nurse comes in & says are you moving around, I said nope, the next thing I know I was surrounded by Dr's & an anesthesiologist when I would have a labor pain his heart would slow, he was in distress & needed to come out now. They said do you want to be put under or just numbed? I had no time to think I said put me under. The nurse took off her jacket laid it on the bed under me & said I need to break your " water" I said ok. She came with this loooong needle & next thing I knew water was gushing everywhere, one the floor, her jacket was soaked & so was I. They wheeled me down the hall I counted backwards to 5 last thing I remember is looking at the clock & then I woke up in recovery.
The nurse came in I had no idea what I had, she said what?! I said what did I have, she said a BOY!!! & took my bed from the recovery room & wheeled me down to NICU to meet him. There he was in his little chicken incubator 7.8oz with bright red hair, he was a month early & his lungs were not strong enough yet. She lifted the lid I said he buddy I'm your mom he reached out his hand to me & gripped my finger. In that instant I knew we would be inseparable, I would slay dragons for this little boy. All of the strength I needed to get out of the abusive situation I was in , was there in that little grip.
My ex tried to throw him into traffic on rt 35 when I said I was leaving, but by the grace of God he gave me the words to calm the situation & get my son out of there. Thankfully he was only 6 months old when this happened so he doesn't remember anything. I do though.
I raised him on my own for a year & a half, we were & still are inseparable. I arranged my work schedule so I spent days with him & nights at work. I missed tucking him in 3 days per week but I got every day with him.
I look at him & I still see the little boy that would climb in my lap & hug me around the neck & say I love you mommy. Now when he hugs me, I almost come up to his shoulder & his hug is alot stronger, but he's still that little boy that reached for my hand & grabbed my heart & never let go.
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