Yesterday I got home from work & as soon as I got in the door my husband said I think I had a seizure. I said ok what happened ? Well I came to & the dog was nudging me & whining & I felt like I was in the postical stage ( this is the confused tired stage after a seizure). I said ok are you hurt? Well my neck feels stiff & I'm tired. Alright then I'm going to take the dog for his walk.
I see the look of disappointment on his face but I dance on a razors edge here, because we have had multiple arguments when this first started happening where he said I over reacted. He even had me talk to the Dr that stressed if he's not hurt or confused, he's fine. So now I ask all the usual questions, then go on with life.
On the inside I am screaming & crying. Mother fucker not again, when will they get this figured out! I want to rage throwing things & having a fit. I worry everyday that he will hurt himself.
I can tell you the day he fractured his spine. I was trying to call & check in he was not answering, my gut told me something is wrong. After the 3rd not answered call, I rush home from work praying & trying to hold back the tears. I got there & he was standing in the hallway covered in blood & urine his speech was slurred & he was confused. I said ok come sit down, I got some gauze & cleaned the blood off of his head & mouth, then helped him change his clothes, I knew he had to go to the hospital. A few hours & multiple tests later they said he had fractured his spine. Our best guess is he bounced around the hallway banging against the walls & wood floor. I worry that will happen again & he will be paralyzed.
On the inside I rage & worry & on the outside I'm calm.
No comments:
Post a Comment